My First What The Fuck Moment

Being the youngest of three kids I would always be jealous of my older siblings and of the things they got to do before me. My most memorable example of this is wanting to go to school.

We lived right down the street from my elementary school and every school day my mother, my two sisters, and I would walk down the street and at first just drop my oldest sister off at school. This wasn’t so bad because at least I’d have my other sister to play with until the day she got to go to school and I didn’t.

I remember everyday after we would drop the two of them off I’d ask my mom when I’d get to go to school and she would respond next year. And of course the next day I would ask if it was next year yet.

When I finally got to go to school I was excited but quickly learned it wasn’t everything I had hoped for. Sure we got to do fun stuff like play with blocks and have recess but there was a ton of boring stuff that no one had told me about.

Incase you can’t tell, playing with the blocks and recess were my favorite two school activities and I cherished every single minute.

On one particular day it was recess time. We all went to our cubbies and got our coats and lined up to go outside when my teacher had what she probably thought was a bright idea.

There was a number chart on the back door to our classroom that led right out to the playground and our teacher decided that we were all going to count to 100 as a group before she would open the door to freedom.

I probably didn’t exactly think, “What the fuck?” even though by that age that word was already a part of my vocabulary but I couldn’t believe that our teacher was wasting at least 100 precious seconds of recess time. This wasn’t math o’clock it was recess o’clock. She couldn’t be serious.

When I found out she wasn’t joking I quickly began counting as fast as I could. And then she stopped me and explained that we were going to count to 100 slowly and as a group.

This was bullshit! Just because the other kids couldn’t count as fast as me shouldn’t mean that I should be punished and have my recess time wasted.

Those were probably the longest 100 seconds of my life and when we finally reached 100 and she opened that door I ran out of that room as fast as I could and slightly jaded.


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