This past week I was called a homophobe. Not to my face but behind my back. A gay writer who was in my writer’s group (really he only came when he needed something of his read) recently wrote a script which included a gay character but I was unable to attend the meeting because the writer sent the script out the day before the group meets and I didn’t have a chance to read it, so there was no point in me attending. I sent an e-mail to the entire group explaining this but said writer took it upon himself to call myself and another male writer in the group homophobes. I wasn’t really offended, actually thought it was kind of funny and joking posted about it on my Twitter and Facebook. I also jokingly posted a Louis C.K. clip from Shameless where he jokes about gay marriage.
Said writer saw the posting and instead of commenting on it or explaining that he was joking he deleted me as his friend. I’m sorry but I think this is the most childish response and it’s the second time that someone I’ve had beef with has done this. What ever happened to talking things out?
Naturally I posted “Said writer has deleted me on facebook. Tear! Does that mean he’s a straightaphobe or just doesn’t like being called out on his B.S.?!”
I also think think that said writer went to the group leader because I received an e-mail asking me if I apologized. Are you kidding? If I thought that I had done something wrong I would have no problem apologizing, but he was the one who started the name calling and I was just defending myself. He even posted a comment on a mutual friends facebook where she jokingly called someone a bastard that there was “No need for name calling.” I so badly wanted to write that he should take his own advice but I was the bigger person and refuse to start shit on some innocent baystander’s page.
This writer also gave me shit for using the word fag several times in one of my scripts. I have no problem using this word or any of its variations because I try not to let words upset me anymore especially this one which I have been called since childhood.
I myself am not gay contrast to popular opinion. I did however grow up with two older sisters who I used to want to be when I was younger, a father who worked very hard to provide for us and wasn’t always around, in a neighborhood that didn’t have any other boys my age living in it and I wasn’t allowed to have friends over my house or go over their’s. Basically what I’m trying to say is that I grew up around females so I didn’t play sports when I was younger, I used to play Barbies with my sisters, I developed a sense of rythem from going to their dance and cheerleading competions over the years, I myself tried out to be a cheerleader in high school and was ridaculed for it. None of these things make me gay or a fag or any less of a man; if anything I think they make me more of one for being able to admit that I did them and not being ashamed of any of it.
I have no problem with gay people, have several gay friends, and a few gay relatives. Sure I will make the ocassional gay joke if there is an overtly gay male (wearing a half cut shirt and heels in my hotel lobby) or two men that happen to be on a “Man Date” but I never said I was perfect and neither is the world that we live in.