Tag Archives: Movie Review

That Time I Live Tweeted The Movie Horns To Baby J (Spoiler Alert)

So my coworker Baby J and I are both total Harry Potter nerds as well other stuff nerds and we’ve been waiting for Joe Hill’s Horn’s to come out even though she hates snakes and the trailer shows a lot of them.

Well, the other day Joe Hill tweeted that Horns was being released on VOD before it was going to be in theaters so of course I told Baby J and planned on going right home after work and ordering it even though I’ve been exhausted from working 6 day weeks.

I told Baby J that I would let her know how snake-filled the movie is and below are the texts that we shared while I watched.

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So,  funny story: Our coworker Roxy heard us talking and thought I said I was going home to watch “Porn.” To which Baby J replied, “Do you have to pay for it?” Which really made it sound even more like I was going home to watch porn and Baby J was excited about that.

I also passed out around the hour mark, not from boredom but from exhaustion.

I saw Baby J at work the next day and she encouraged me to continue with the texting so I did.

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That was supposed to say, “Shit is getting weird” I Blame autocorrect!

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Movie Review: Man of Steel

It was just OK. The main issue I had with it was the pacing. It’s two hours and twenty-three minutes and it felt it. In my opinion they could have left out a lot. I feel the same way about Jor-El putting Kal-El in the spaceship and sending him to earth while Krypton explodes as I do with Uncle Ben getting killed in the Spiderman movies; we’ve seen it too many times. Sure the planet exploding looked really cool but the whole 20 minutes before it was unnecessary. We know the baby gets sent off in the ship or there would be no rest of the movie. If you want to make a movie about Krypton make a prequel and make it original, don’t steal The Matrix’s whole baby pods thing. And the whole Jor-El rides a dragon-like-creature was a little over the top. There were also way too many Clark risked being found out by saving someone from dying flashbacks. We get it, he’s an exhibitionist and can’t help saving people while others watch! The ending was also dragged out and could have been cut drastically. It felt a little Godzilla or even Power Rangery with characters just tossing each other around and destroying the scenery. I really did like Cavill and Adams in the lead roles and they did a great job with the material that they were given, which could have been better. And my Lois Lane would never say, “tinkle.”

Les Miserables

I was introduced to Les Miserables by my Nana Webb’s old cassette tapes of the original production. My favorite song was Master of the House (because of the curse words, obviously) but since I was wicked little and had no pubes I totally adopted There is a Castle on a Cloud as my jam and would sing it all the time. That being said I never actually saw the play or really paid attention to what it was all about. To be honest I was disappointed. I think something was lost from stage to screen and wasn’t completely blown away. I will however say that Anne Hathaway was amazing. Not only did she sound phenomenal but her acting while doing so was unbelievable that the combination of the two gave me chills. I expected Hugh Jackman to deliver and he did but I didn’t expect Russell Crowe to be as good as he was. I love Helena Bonham Carter and she was a scene stealer as always and I pity Sacha Baron Cohen for having to share most of his scenes with her because he did a fine job but she pulled my focus. Overall it wasn’t bad but didn’t live up to the play’s hype or my expectations.

Sinister

It was pretty creepy. It opens with a disturbing and grainy home video and incorporates these throughout the movie. These are definitely the best and most creepy parts. Even though I knew one of the scares was coming I couldn’t help but jump because it was that good and jarring. The rest of the movie is just OK. The ending was predictable and the last kill is the least awesome and was kind of a let down. Although the movie does end on some eerie images. It’s worth checking out just for the little movies inside the movie.

Argo

Ben Affleck’s response to anyone giving him crap about his acting credits from here on out should be, “Argo fuck yourself!” In my opinion he has more than redeemed himself for any of the studio films he’s acted in for a large paycheck with his work as a director. Argo normally isn’t the type of movie that I run out to the theater to see but the look of the film from the trailer and the fact that I enjoyed Affleck’s other features Gone Baby Gone and The Town made me want to see it. And it lived up to if not exceeded my expectations. I don’t know how accurate the film is but it definitely told an interesting story about characters I cared about and rooted for. It didn’t hurt that I had no knowledge of the true events that the film was based on so the ending wasn’t already spoiled. The cast all did a great job but it’s easy to single out John Goodman and Alan Arkin for providing just the right amount of comic relief. Totally recommend the film.

Seven Psychopaths

It opens with a bang and keeps the bullets and jokes flying. The film has a very Adaptation-like feel to it with writer-director Martin McDonagh naming his main character Marty and having him struggling to write a screenplay which just so happens to be titled Seven Psychopaths. The writing saves the film from being the cliché it could have been by giving us strong characters each with their own unique psychopathic traits and hilarious dialogue. Sam Rockwell is brilliant and should have awards thrown at him. Woody Harrelson and Christopher Walken are great as always and I tend to enjoy Colin Farrell’s acting when he’s not doing his “one for the money” studio films. Tom Waits also plays a pretty convincing psychopath. I really enjoyed it and think you would too if you’re a fan of films like Adaptation or Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

End of Watch

As I’ve stated in some of my other reviews I’m not a huge fan of the “found footage”, shot for millions but made to look homemade films but it actually worked here; probably because thanks to Cops and all its copycat shows we’re used to seeing police officers filmed this way. There were a few times where the point of view shifted focus and it pulled me out of the story but other than that it was really well done. The story is gritty so may not be everyone’s cup of tea but it felt very authentic. Jake Gyllenhaal and especially Michael Peña deliver award-winning performances. Anna Kendrick was great as always and I was surprised to see and questioned if it was actually America Ferrera playing a supporting role as another officer. The ending had me on the edge of my seat and I thought it was so ballsy until they threw some sugar on it. It’s definitely worth checking out especially if you’re into darker, raw, crime dramas.